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Are ‘scooped’ bagels evil? An investigation.

ou can learn a lot about someone from their bagel order.

Taylor ham/pork roll, egg and cheese on a sesame? Congratulations, you’re making your state proud. Scallion cream cheese on an everything? You might just be my bagel soulmate. Butter on a plain bagel? A little boring, but you do you.

But every so often someone tells me they get their bagel … scooped out. And it gets me saltier than a salt bagel.

What does “scooped out” mean, you ask? Brace yourself. Apparently some people like to have the soft, doughy center of their bagel — literally the heart and soul of New Jersey’s favorite breakfast vessel — hollowed out until all that remains is a crusty husk of its once-glorious self. A seeded shell of what it once was. Devoid of all joy and prosperity.

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